Today I decided to drop out of school. You’re probably thinking “Why? You’re finally in school again, you’re a stay at home mom. Now is the perfect time!” Well that couldn’t be further from the truth. This is my first blog post and I refuse to be anything but 100% honest. I’m drowning. My life is a shit show. I’m tired. I’m anxious and I’m depressed yet again. SO… What am I going to do about it? I am going to buck up. I am going to take control of my life. School as it may be right for some, has thrown me to the dirt. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. The most I am ever depressed is when I am in school. Does that mean school isn’t for me? Well maybe. But I don’t think that is the biggest concern right now. I think right now I have decided that teaching is not my passion. That is something I may be able to tolerate but it is not something I want to put my all into. You see, as a young child I was always pushed into feeling that college is the way to go. I think a lot of people can relate to that. So right out of high school that is where I went, but even then I was so depressed. I was skipping classes unapologetically, drinking almost every day, and my place was quite literally always covered in clothes and trash. I never learned how to take care of myself or the place around me. So today I am taking charge. I am dropping out of school. YES I feel SO GUILTY. But I know that is what is right for me in this moment. My relationship with both my kids and my husband has changed and not for the better. Lets get real. It’s a shit show over here. With my reestablished faith I am ready to take the world head on and quitting is a thousand times more empowering than staying.
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